Mercury is not in retrograde. I checked. So why is communication so messed up for me this week? Today I had to call Verizon to pay my Fios bill. What. An. Adventure. Apparently I am not the only one with this issue.
Days like this are the reason why I am getting my MBA in Technology Management and not in Information Systems. Verizon needs to benchmark against T-Mobile and AT&T’s CRM systems and service values.
I called them this morning at about 9am thinking, “I’m just making a billing payment arrangement for next month this ought to be quick”. Oho my friends not a chance. I dialed 1-800-837-4966, the number on the bill they sent me and being the savvy person that I am pressed 00#. I got through to an agent right away and she couldn’t find my information. No worries, I gave it to her again, spelling it slowly so that she could type it in, and she finally found me. Unfortunately for me, she was in the Repair department. That was my fault for skipping the prompts, so I let her transfer me to the billing department.
That was my first mistake.
Apparently Verizon is too big and has multiple billing stations because I was transferred to the hub for Phone-Only billing. I explained to the agent on the phone what had happened and she said she would transfer me again. Okay, good. Only she hung up on me. SHE HUNG UP ON ME. Alright, I work at a call center and totally understand when a call disconnects during a transfer, the agent fat fingers a key and oops no more caller. I understand that this can happen, however they are a telecom company and should probably know better, right? Okay, maybe not.
So I dialed again. I went through the prompts again like a good girl and then waited patiently on hold for the billing department for 15 minutes. I got through to an agent, again, and this time was once again in the wrong area. This time I was in sales. Now, I don’t know about you, but when you hear a prompt say, “for billing assistance, press 1″ I press 1 secure in the knowledge that this is where I will end up. Not with Verizon. No sirree.
Back into the queue I went and ended up, 20 minutes on hold later back at the same incorrect billing place I was before. At this point I was a little flustered and my co-worker’s impression of me flailing my hands in muppet-like frustration while somewhat yelling “I JUST WANT TO GIVE YOU MY MONEY” is still making me smile. I hang up, go get a coffee and have a smoke, and then try again.
After repeating the same process for over an hour, my bill is still not paid and I was now just yelling into my wireless headset that “I am not giving any information to you until you tell me where I am transferred to”. Mind you, each time I go through the prompts on the now 3 different toll-free numbers I have been given, no one has my information. People, why are we typing this stuff in if no one processes it. I swear it’s like a tree falling in a forest.
An hour and 15 minutes later, I am told by a very nice man that he promises to get me to the right place, and after apologizing profusely for my pain and suffering proceeds to misdirect me again. At this point I am about ready to lose my mind, but try to remain calm. I know that eventually I will get through and I will need all my finesse for this moment because my bill is late and I need to be smooth. I am thinking smooth thoughts right up until the moment I am disconnected again.
After what I swear is the longest two hours of my life, (I wrote emails, and took other calls, and even handled a minor incident in the office while being on hold the whole time) I finally finally get through to the right person. Who proceeds to tell me that because I am a “new” customer. (remember, we got the service in August) I am not yet eligible to make billing arrangements (I was asking for a one week extension for half the bill and paying half right then that moment. Sounded like a good deal to me) and therefore must pay the whole bill today or have the service interrupted. I tell her fine and ask her for the information I need to pay online. I am still new enough that I didn’t set up the online account, so she gives me that, and I pay.
After which, I am still on the phone with her and ask her if I could please speak to a manager to address why I was routed to 100 different people and never got the right line. She told me, (and this is a direct quote) that “all of the managers were really busy today” and that maybe someone could call me back. Instead of screaming at her full blast for making me more insane for the shitty service that Verizon has given me today, I tell her okay and that I will wait. She doesn’t even thank me for my service, I don’t even think the ‘t’ in ‘wait’ ended up on their call recording system with how fast she put me back on hold.
After another half an hour, about noontime, I hung up to go to a meeting feeling both stressed out to no end and worthless as their customer.
RSS Feed